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#1 Tom™

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Posted 25 February 2011 - 11:35 PM

I think I'm right in saying that there isn't a joke thread, correct me if I'm wrong.


So post your jokes here!!



I have a few pretty random ones to start off with

"A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't say anything because its a duck." :mellow:

"What would George Washington do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin."

"Three blind mice walk into a pub. They are all unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humor from it would be exploitative." - lol, Bill Bailey

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? I dont know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance."

They are called anti-jokes by the way lol

 
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#2 ckravitz

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Posted 26 February 2011 - 01:04 AM

"What would George Washington do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin."

I'll post some jokes later on, but I was just thinking: is he scratching at his coffin because he is alive, or just going crazy over what his country has become (for example, he implemented the idea of not getting into foreign affairs).

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#3 sarahelizabeth

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Posted 26 February 2011 - 03:26 AM

what do you call a blonde with a brain?? Gifted

wanna keep in touch add me on facebook < sarahs facebook <3




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#4 Tom™

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Posted 26 February 2011 - 09:43 AM

I'll post some jokes later on, but I was just thinking: is he scratching at his coffin because he is alive, or just going crazy over what his country has become (for example, he implemented the idea of not getting into foreign affairs).


Because he is alive, if he was going to suddenly come alive, he couldn't be anywhere else could he? :P

 
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#5 padfoot

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Posted 03 May 2011 - 11:04 AM

Definitions: Winter (noun) - A three month break between women and their razors.

To do list: Buy Hannah Montana socks. Step on her face regularly.

To do list: Change Facebook name to "No One." Like people's statuses...

Tips for success: You are what you eat. Eat skinny people.

Tips for success: Never knock, people love being surprised.

Definitions: No offense (phrase) - A phrase used to introduce a highly offensive comment.

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I think this topic might do better in the General section than Games Room, I'll move it there.

#6 Tom™

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Posted 04 May 2011 - 05:54 PM

What goes "WOOF WOOF BANG"?............... A Terrierist :mellow:

 
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#7 Mouse Rat

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Posted 04 May 2011 - 05:57 PM

Definitions: Winter (noun) - A three month break between women and their razors.

To do list: Change Facebook name to "No One." Like people's statuses...

Definitions: No offense (phrase) - A phrase used to introduce a highly offensive comment.


hahahahahahahaha!! LOVE THOSE! :rofl:

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#8 Babba O'riley

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Posted 04 May 2011 - 06:34 PM

"How do you kill a circus? Go for the jugglar"-Dan Radcliffe :lol:

#9 Tom™

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Posted 04 May 2011 - 07:34 PM

A man walks into a bar, ouch!

 
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#10 i love emma

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Posted 04 May 2011 - 09:11 PM

I'll post jokes later,
No there isn't a jokes thread
There is one in boys forum - but its mainly full of manly jokes.

#11 Lady Deadpool

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Posted 04 May 2011 - 10:05 PM

You know you look like one of my Chinese friends; UG LEE!

I'm Yin, Widu is Yang.
 



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#12 i love emma

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Posted 05 May 2011 - 08:52 PM

You know you look like one of my Chinese friends; UG LEE!


Who looks like one of you... oh yeah i get haha thats funny :lol:

#13 sarahelizabeth

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Posted 07 May 2011 - 04:21 AM

A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license.

The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home officer."

The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?" The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror.

She looks at it and says to the cop, "All I have is this picture of myself." The cop says, "Let me see it, then." So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over. You can go now."


A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.

Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said,

"I can't take this, you're my friend."

But the blonde insisted saying,

"No. A bet's a bet."

Then the redhead said

"Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money."

The blonde replied

"Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"

wanna keep in touch add me on facebook < sarahs facebook <3




I am a pet Penguin My owner is tara Posted Image

Js buddy:Cat. Aunt:Dina Cycling Buddy: Kimmers Mom: Arie
Brothers:Chandler lil chris ardi joe loverboy Andrew
sisters:Lindy stef amber ellen Kimmie! Grandpa big chris
Great grandpa Jon Great Grandma Noura Neice Karen


#14 padfoot

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Posted 29 May 2011 - 07:52 AM

Dear students, I know when you're texting. Seriously, no one just looks down at their crotch and smiles. Sincerely, teacher.

#15 honeytinkle

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Posted 29 May 2011 - 01:13 PM

A donkey met a Lada and said: "Hi, car!"
"Hi, donkey," said the Lada.
Then the donkey start crying and the Lada asked why.
"I described you car, you could have described me horse."

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#16 Tom™

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Posted 04 August 2011 - 10:16 AM

I was in London today and jumped into a black cab. I said, "Waterloo, mate."

He said, "The station?"

"Well, I'm a bit late for the battle."




One of the boys in my English class has bought a Harry Potter replica wand.

I find this ironic, as he's dyslexic, and therefore can't spell.

 
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#17 Monkey Cartwheels

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Posted 04 August 2011 - 10:34 AM

A duck walked into a pub and hopped up on a seat at the bar.
The bartender asked him "what'll you have mate?"
And the duck doesnt say anything because its a duck

totes bffs with arie

"That's because they have no class like us farm animal lovers" - Sammy

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Sisters Jade Sarah Brothers Andrew Wife Sammy Farm Buddy BoMa Pet Goat Chris
I am Sterre's pet Armadillo

by the way i hate alcohol, just thought i would mention that


#18 Austin!

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Posted 05 August 2011 - 03:22 AM

Knock knock
Who's there?
NO ONE YOU IDIOT THERE IS NO DOOR
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#19 Monkey Cartwheels

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Posted 13 August 2011 - 07:01 AM

I give away all my dead batteries.
Free of charge of course.

totes bffs with arie

"That's because they have no class like us farm animal lovers" - Sammy

Posted Image

The E-Family I forgot I had.
Sisters Jade Sarah Brothers Andrew Wife Sammy Farm Buddy BoMa Pet Goat Chris
I am Sterre's pet Armadillo

by the way i hate alcohol, just thought i would mention that


#20 mischief.managed

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Posted 13 August 2011 - 07:08 AM

I think I'm right in saying that there isn't a joke thread, correct me if I'm wrong.


So post your jokes here!!



I have a few pretty random ones to start off with

"A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't say anything because its a duck."
:mellow:

"What would George Washington do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin."

"Three blind mice walk into a pub. They are all unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humor from it would be exploitative." - lol, Bill Bailey

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? I dont know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance."

They are called anti-jokes by the way lol



A duck walked into a pub and hopped up on a seat at the bar.
The bartender asked him "what'll you have mate?"
And the duck doesnt say anything because its a duck

fail, Joe :P




This one's long..

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead were trying out for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different planets. First, they called the brunette in and asked her a question.

"If you could go to any planet, what planet would you want to go to and why?"

After pondering the question she answered, "I would like to go to Mars because it seems so interesting with all the recent news about possible extra terrestrial life on the planet."

They said "well okay, thank you." And told her that they would get back to her.

Next, the redhead entered the room and the NASA people asked her the same question. In reply, "I would like to go to Saturn to see all of its rings." Again, "thank you" and they would get back to her.

Finally, the blond entered the room and they asked her the same question they asked the brunette and the redhead. She thought for a while and replied, "I would like to go to the sun."

The people from NASA replied, "why, don't you know that if you went to the sun you would burn to death?"

The blond smirked and put her hands on her hips. "Are you guys dumb? I'd go at night!"

Edited by mischief.managed, 13 August 2011 - 07:08 AM.

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to feel unafraid . . .

"And above all these put on love,
which binds everything together in perfect harmony." - Colossians 3:14

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