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How is this for media messing up kids? Rihanna's latest single is called S&M... you have to confirm that you are 18 in order to watch it.

According to the U.K.'s Daily Mirror, 11 countries have already banned the video from airplay, and BBC 1 Radio won't play the track before 7 p.m. A rep for the radio station said they are considering airplay for the Loud track: "We are waiting for an edited version before deciding whether it will be played in the daytime.

 

Lyrics include:

Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it

Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it

Sticks and stones may break my bones

But chains and whips excite me

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How is this for media messing up kids? Rihanna's latest single is called S&M... you have to confirm that you are 18 in order to watch it.

 

Lyrics include:

Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it

Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it

Sticks and stones may break my bones

But chains and whips excite me

 

So she's into the domination scene I take it. I don't listen to Rihanna but I am not at all surprised. Listen to any rap song, any metal song sometimes even alternative or pop song. There's always going to be some sort of suggestive theme in them. The rap wars earlier in the past decade could be used as an example. Eminem is probably regarded as one a very influencial figure in American pop culture. During his early years of mainstream rapping, everyone came down hard on him regarding his violent and sexually explicit lyrics on some of his songs. Without Me for example is a very controversial song when it released. What some artists are doing today are somewhat part of the norm now.

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So she's into the domination scene I take it. I don't listen to Rihanna but I am not at all surprised. Listen to any rap song, any metal song sometimes even alternative or pop song. There's always going to be some sort of suggestive theme in them. The rap wars earlier in the past decade could be used as an example. Eminem is probably regarded as one a very influencial figure in American pop culture. During his early years of mainstream rapping, everyone came down hard on him regarding his violent and sexually explicit lyrics on some of his songs. Without Me for example is a very controversial song when it released. What some artists are doing today are somewhat part of the norm now.

 

Yes, but S&M is going a little bit farther then those songs.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I don't know how I stayed oblivious to all of the "peer pressure" stuff. Maybe it's because I had a good role model - my mother - but I didn't drink or do drugs growing up, and I've always made friends who shared my lifestyle (drug and alcohol free.) The few times I've been around someone who's been wasted, I've tried to help them...and if I can't, I simply walk away. I can't let them drag me down.

 

I do drink beer and wine, but I didn't try it until I was 21 (and legally able to drink.) A lot of people at college turned up their nose at this, and said I was a prude, but honestly? I don't see the point in getting drunk, and I've never liked alcohol that much.

 

I also lost my virginity, and started dating girls, past high school. I wanted to wait until I was older, and better able to handle it, rather than jumping on my urges.

 

However, this "kids are growing up too fast nowadays" thing is nothing new. I remember when I was in 6th grade, I heard an 8th grader in the nurses office telling her friend, "Oh, I lost my virginity last night, and I'm so sore." So I expected, hey, when I'm in 8th grade, that's when I will lose my virginity. I was 20, and not disappointed at all, when I lost mine.

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I got beat by my parents and was actually disciplined properly.

 

Parents these days are so afraid of big brother having a say in how they should discipline their kids that they end up not disciplining them at all.

 

So in the comic words of Russell Peters: "You gotta beat your kids."

 

my parents spanked me as a child and I turned out fine. They didn't have to do it very often because after I learned that if I disobeyed I got punished so I only needed a verbal warning but it kept me listening to my parents and in turn kept me safe. It also (since I was disciplined from an early age) keeps be from disobeying them now. Not because I'm afraid they are going to hit me (they wouldn't) but because its simple habit and I want to please them.

 

Also with the whole parents being your friends type thing. Early on my mom did a good job of keeping the balance, I have an excellent relationship with my mom and I enjoy spending time with her but I still view her as an authority figure. I think it comes from the fact that she always kept me with her when I was little. If she had an appointment she would bring me along and all I needed was a coloring book and I could sit quietly and my mom could do what she needed to do. So there were a lot of benefits to parenting me that way. My whole life I have never felt unwanted by either my parents or other adults, I've learned how to be a good listener and audience member, I've learned how to communicate with adults and gain the respect of them. And I also learned a lot of self discipline skills. What some people have found the most amazing part about it was I have very severe unmedicated ADHD but since I amassed all these skills early on I don't have the typical hyper activity issues that most people my age have with a similar diagnosis.

 

Please don't think I'm bragging but I'm just talking about how I was raised and how I turned out and how when it comes to parenting you really can have your cake and eat it to. Of course it depends on the child but for me that was how it worked out

 

I actually just had a debate with a friend this morning. I am not in favor of hitting kids, but my friends who I do know that got spanked, smacked whatever as a child turned out just fine. I was slapped once as a child and it was the most miserable thing ever - I don't want to inflict that on my kids. I do think that parents nowadays need to stop trying to be friends with their kids and giving them everything they want, because that does not work. I intend to be a disciplinarian to my children and I can *still* be their friend but in turn there will be respect for the parental figure, as it should be. Momoko, I think it is very interesting that you overcame your ADHD issues and I think that more children can benefit from having firm, consisting parenting this way. I agree with you 100% - parents need to establish authority. As for me, if it comes to spanking my child, I will do it if I have to - but ONLY if I have to. I don't like negative re-enforcement, I think kids learn by positivity. I was raised in kind of a unique situation because I live with my mom, gram, and 2 uncles. I always had an adult around and because my mom wasn't always emotionally available to me as a child I had other adults to turn to. I was never grounded or punished, really, and yet I still turned out to be okay. I think there needs to be respect for the parents and in turn, respect for the child. Children don't want to be condescended to so I think if parents/adults treat the kid with a good ear and take the time to actually listen to them, many behavioral issues will disappear because the child will have some attention.

 

 

I don't know how I stayed oblivious to all of the "peer pressure" stuff. Maybe it's because I had a good role model - my mother - but I didn't drink or do drugs growing up, and I've always made friends who shared my lifestyle (drug and alcohol free.) The few times I've been around someone who's been wasted, I've tried to help them...and if I can't, I simply walk away. I can't let them drag me down.

 

I do drink beer and wine, but I didn't try it until I was 21 (and legally able to drink.) A lot of people at college turned up their nose at this, and said I was a prude, but honestly? I don't see the point in getting drunk, and I've never liked alcohol that much.

 

 

See, I had a *bad* role model - MY mother. I won't go into details but I pretty much learned what not to do because of her. I also do not drink or do drugs, just because I have seen the harm they can cause and I don't want to go down that road. I'm not 21 yet, and when I turn 21 I might have a glass of wine, MAYBE. I just don't see the need to drink, I don't think alcohol is that special.

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I think with parents, instead of beating, it's important to not lose temper. My dad has never done that and I have great respect for him. My mother on the other hand use to lose it and shout and that has always lead me to scream back. I do respect her, but never in the same way as my father. I think it's the same with all authority persons. They can't lose temper and start shouting because it will lead to less respect. That's my theory.

But parents can't be friends with their kids either. Or well, of course they can but they still need to be able to set limits.

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Alcohol really isn't that special. Neither are drugs. However, many teenagers use them as social outlets, and that's where things go wrong.

 

I only drink on special occasion. I saw Jimmy Eat World live a month ago, and had a glass of beer. I will be seeing Rush live in two weeks, and I also will be drinking beer.

 

However, to drink just to drink...I don't see the point. I had birthday vodka shots for my 23rd birthday, and I (once again) saw it as pointless. I would rather drink beer, than that nasty vodka.

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Or Miley Cyrus.

 

Britney Spears said that she was a virgin, but she actually lost it at 14. Don't know the history of Christina Aguilera and Mandy Moore, but at least Jessica Simpson managed to hold on to it until her wedding night (she's a hardcore Christian.)

 

I think we need more role models like that. I don't agree with everything Jessica Simpson says, and she is not the brightest crayon in the box, but she is a total sweetheart, and actually has good values.

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  • 1 month later...

I think there are several different causes with the media being one. Another, as mentioned above, is the hyper connectedness of the modern world with the Internet, texting, smart phones etc.

 

Also, each generation becomes just a little more jade, a little more desensitized than the one before it. Just look at the last 20 years as an example. When the Simpsons first came out it was considered very edgy for it's time. But in time it was surpassed by Beavis and Butthead. Then that was supplanted by South Park which has outright cursing and sacrilege. Society became desensitized by The Simpsons then it took a little more to shock people and more until look at where we are now.

 

Parents have also become more of friends to their children instead of parents. Look at Lindsay Lohan's mom as a perfect example. She wanted to be her daughter's friend instead of her mother. She used her daughter's fame to get into the coolest L.A. clubs instead of steering her daughter passed the pitfalls of fame.

 

And parents as well as teachers aren't allowed to discipline anymore. I know growing up I got spanked. I wasn't beaten or abused and I don't have deep seated issues with my parents because of it. But I do know the difference between right and wrong and I respect others and their property. My parents did a good job of bringing me up. And since we've taken corporal punishment out of the schools kids have gotten uncontrollable.

 

But it didn't just start with this generation. It's been going on. Look at the adults of today. They grew up far quicker than their parents. They had gotten drunk, had sex and done drugs way younger than their parents did or maybe their parents never did some of those things. So it would seem that they grew up faster than their parents. But really they just became more jaded than their parents; not grown up. They never matured. That's why we have a society of adults who are overgrown children, who are trying so desperately to cling to their youth and turn their children into mini-me versions of themselves. Hanging with your four year old son like he's your buddy and listening to the White Stripes together is not age appropriate for your child. Children need their parents not friends.

 

Just look at an old show like Leave It To Beaver. The father on that show was a Man. Now compare him to a father of today. They are just overgrown frat boys.

 

 

I love this post, I feel it really expresses my opinions well.

 

Unfortunately, I think children are getting these "GROW UP" messages from all directions. The media is obviously a huge participant, which overly sexual lyrics and inappropriate shows for children. They have lots of Nick and Disney programs that show children defying, being rude, getting involved in romance,etc and while the actor/actresses may be 14 or 15, the children watching it are as young as 5. Furthermore, they get it in music that is considered popular and good, such as Rihanna's new song that was stated above. I know a lot of parents who play this to their children without a thought. When children go to school they have other children talking about the same music and tv shows. These tv shows become reality, not because they are how children are, but because they have conditioned kids to believe this how they are suppose to act.

 

As Dude stated, a lot of parents try to be their child's friend instead of their parent. They do not punish their child and let them have way too much freedom. This, combined with the traditional family structure has fallen apart for a huge portion of families means these children may have less people to look up to as role models and more time to spend with their media.

 

 

One thing I find really crazy is that children are growing up faster, but older adults perceive younger adults as "kids" much longer than in the past. Someone who is 23 can still be referred to as a "kid" or "young person" by someone who is in their 40s. A lot of people don't consider 18 to be an adult and while I have trouble turning to an 18 year old and saying, "You're an adult, do as you please"..I think it was better a couple of decades ago when younger adults didn't have the same stigma. We are conditioning people to grow up faster, but then condoning the defiant, teenage phase longer.

 

It's a very sad cycle, but the positive is that since we are realizing this we can work to change the next generation.

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  • 1 month later...

My 14yr old sister just had some crazy dilema and broke up with her second boyfriend. She was really upset and it caused lots of problems.

 

Just further proved my point that people that young shouldnt be dating!

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Just to put a little bit of perspective on it, people have been saying this sort of thing for a long time, and especially so since the end of the first world war, although it is about teenagers rather than younger children, the BBC/open university show 'James May's 20th Century' has an episode called 'inventing the teenager' which takes a look at the sort of things that changed socially/economically that enabled these changes to take place.

 

What I am about to say is mostly based on the UK, but I am sure the same principles apply in most places

 

It should be remembered, that up until relatively recently, many people left school at age 14, if they even went in the first place, and would then get a full time job at a factory or similar, so there was an expectation for people to be ready for life before then, so the increase in compulsory eduction, and the increase of in time people are considered 'young' (its not uncommon to start a 'career' until 25-30 nowadays) mean that there is less pressure put on children to get actual responsibility and act like adults in the real sense)

 

The root cause of children 'growing up too fast' is much more complicated than simply the media/parents, and actually has a lot to do with the economy and the rise of socialist ideologies and economic development in non-gold backed economies (most of the world).

 

Inflation has increased the cost of living for many, whilst pay-rises are often far below inflation, especially for people already on lower incomes, meaning that people are working more hours than they would like, and combined with the rise of feminism, it is no longer expected that a woman will give up a career to raise children, parents have less time to spend with there children, meaning that some parents are forced to rely on childcare whilst they work (which is expensive and further increases the need to work, which is quite a paradox) or give there children responsibility from a relatively young age (even small things like walking to and from school on there own, and being alone in the house for an hour or two after school before the parents get home) which gives children more freedom than they are used to. Parents also often rely on older siblings to look after younger siblings, and put pressure on children to act maturely.

 

Since the 'cabbage patch dolls', product makers and retailers have known that children are a potentially hugely lucrative market, and as a result, a lot of effort is put into trying to make them into 'good little consumers' that will spend there parents money, and part of the way they do this is to create ways of making children feel 'grown up' by emulating products, fashion and culture from teenagers, and parents feel pressured to give children everything they want as there is a large social stigma placed on kids that don't have whatever the latest trend is, from the other children, as well as on the parents by other parents, forcing relative conformity into the modern liberal 'cool parent' philosophy,

 

The rise of mobile phones and the Internet have obviously also had a huge influence, mobile phones in particular are often bought for young children by parents with emergency contact in mind, but social pressure on the kids means they will often push for a 'cooler' smart-phone rather than just a basic phone (and phone retailers hardly sell any basic phones any more), meaning that children are bypassing the parents ability to monitor who they are in contact with.

 

The Internet too has had a similar effect, with many parents not really understanding how computers work, kids often have unfettered access to the web, and all its less-than-savoury corners, and with parents leaving children alone more and more, there is also less supervision of this taking place.

 

to summarise, to change the current situation, the solution is not as simple as telling parents to step up, but would require massive changes in the socio-economic makeup of the western world, and would likely be impossible to implement, not to mention the human nature of trying to act grown up, and for parents to want to give everything they can to children, and for companies to target children with advertising whilst they are too young to properly understand what they are experiencing.

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