Ashley Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 i'm not sure where to post this so i'm posting it here.I just wanted to let you guys know that i probably won't be on here for i don't even know how long.I've struggled with Depression and Self Injury for a very long time, some of you might remember me asking for advice several times in the old forum. Last night I broke down after cutting my wrists. I was balling my eyes out. I told my mom how I was feeling inside and that I was in so much pain and I don't know what to do. We discussed it and we've decided that an inpatient therapy might be the best thing for me. so basically i might not be here for a while because I'll be in a hospital. i'm extremely scared but i know this is what i have to do. i don't exactly know what the point of this is except to vent. maybe i'm asking for support, i don't know i'm just scared Link to post Share on other sites
Kim. Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 (edited) ^ Hey hun, I've just come across this on my cycling break. I'm sorry that you're going through this depression. Depression is an extremely tough thing to battle and struggle with and surmount. I had no clue you self-injured. I'm so sorry. It makes me sort of hurt to read that. First, I'm not sure where this thread should go either. I'm sure someone will find a spot for it. I had very self-destructive habits when I went through depression, but I never self-injured so I cannot imagine the consequences, repercussions, and pain as a result of doing so. If it has gotten to the point where what you're doing is life-threatening or you're breaking down completely, then you know you need aid and support to get through this and past your depression. Setting up a support system has to be the most imperative factor in combating self-harm. I don't know you very much, and I wish I did, but telling your mother about your feelings is one step towards this goal. If you have both decided that inpatient therapy is the best and safest route to go for you, then do your research. Researching proper inpatient residences is extremely important as well. If money is a factor to your level of treatment, have your mother research or research on your own health programs in your state, or apply to have a partial of the treatment to be paid through a charity care initiative. You have to start from somewhere, and what you're doing now is a great beginning. Treat it as a new chapter or a clean slate for yourself, where your past does not and will no longer and will never define who you are NOW or who you will be in the future. I can understand how scared you are right now. I was at this point two years ago. I was engulfed with this Fear that nothing will ever turn out okay, of course how could it be if it had gotten this bad? Hun, the thing you have to know is that no matter how bad it gets and no matter how depressed you feel, there's an even greater chance and opportunity to climb out of this hole. Remember, you had to crawl before you could walk and you had to walk before you could run. I wish you the best of luck, Ashley. I do sincerely hope things get better for you. I'm here for you, and I'm sure others are or will be as well. Please keep in touch somehow when you can and update me on your progress. <3333333. (((((((Hugs))))))) Edited April 21, 2011 by Lena Link to post Share on other sites
130671 Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 Well it's hard to say anything that doesn't sound somehow hollow and meaningless.But just saying nothing feels wrong too. You have come to a place most people never see.Hope you'll pull through. Link to post Share on other sites
Ashley Posted April 21, 2011 Author Share Posted April 21, 2011 thank you very much <3 i definitely feel like i have a support system right now.my two best friends, my mother, and my internet friends as well. once my church finds out, which i'm sure they will, i know i'll have their support as well.We're going to sit down and talk to my therapist today so we'll see how everything goes. thank you again <3 and i will try my hardest to keep you and everyone else who wants to know, updated. Link to post Share on other sites
Kim. Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 ^ thank you.Xoxo. Link to post Share on other sites
azileea Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 I've been dealing with panic disorder for years and been depressed too. I've never been taken to a hospital but I've been seeing a therapist for years. And it's really helped me a lot. I know that 'breaking' what you talk about and yes, it is really scary. But you are going to the right direction. Best of luck to you! Come here to tell how you are doing when you can. (: Hugs! ♥ Link to post Share on other sites
Harleen Quinzel Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 (edited) Best of luck, hun. I hope everything goes well, and it'll be great if you keep us updated <3 Edited April 21, 2011 by Katherine Pierce Link to post Share on other sites
sarahelizabeth Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 Depression is so tough girl i am sorry your scared.. it is so scary though but you will get better and as long as you push yourslef. and you should know we are all here for you dear Link to post Share on other sites
The Dude Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 (edited) I'm sorry you're scared but I'm glad you're seeking help. I can understand you're used to and comfortable with your depression and self injury. Getting help and making a change is scary. I'm glad you gave us a heads up on what's going on and where you'll be. We'll be praying for you and thinking about you. Come back when you can but no hurry - get better. . Edited April 21, 2011 by The Dude Link to post Share on other sites
flying kiwi Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 I'm sorry your suffering but you've defiantly done the right thing seeking help, that's very brave of you I wish you the best of luck in your recovery xxxx Link to post Share on other sites
Rose Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 I wish you all the best for your recovery, it is a big step to get help and you can already be proud of that! Lots of luck, I sincerely hope you will feel better and healthier very soon Link to post Share on other sites
red Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 aww, good luck sweetie i hope you will be better soon! Link to post Share on other sites
hobbitses Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 i wish you the best of luck really brave of you to admit this and get the help you need to get through thisxxxx Link to post Share on other sites
Emmas Friend Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 I hope you get better soon, I can understand why you are scared. I'm sure with all the support from your friends , family and the church, you will find the strength to overcome this. Link to post Share on other sites
Babba O'riley Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 I thought I would find a quote for you and I did find one from a poet that I think you should see: "No matter what age you are, or what your circumstances might be, you are special, and you still have something unique to offer. Your life, because of who you are, has meaning." Link to post Share on other sites
The Midnight Q Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 (edited) It's good that you're willing to seek help for yourself. I'm sorry that you're in the position you're in right now but I hope that you'll pull through. I've been in your shoes before and it's not easy. Please know that along with your friends and family, your friends here on the forum are here to support you! I really hope that things will get better for you. Be strong Ashley! We'll be waiting for you when you get back. Edited April 22, 2011 by sirbenedictvs Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs Duck Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 (edited) Aw sweetheart! It's so sad you are going through this hard time, I've been there myself so I sort of know the feeling. I sincerely hope therapy and treatment will help you get better! As everyone else said, keep us updated when you can. I can't have you disappear from the forum from one day to the other. I'd worry! :3m_sie: Edited April 22, 2011 by Mrs Duck Link to post Share on other sites
Jade Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 i'm not sure where to post this so i'm posting it here.I just wanted to let you guys know that i probably won't be on here for i don't even know how long.I've struggled with Depression and Self Injury for a very long time, some of you might remember me asking for advice several times in the old forum. Last night I broke down after cutting my wrists. I was balling my eyes out. I told my mom how I was feeling inside and that I was in so much pain and I don't know what to do. We discussed it and we've decided that an inpatient therapy might be the best thing for me. so basically i might not be here for a while because I'll be in a hospital. i'm extremely scared but i know this is what i have to do. i don't exactly know what the point of this is except to vent. maybe i'm asking for support, i don't know i'm just scared Everyone says they know what your going through, but they really don't. As for me. I've been in this situation and worse. Nearly killed myself with 80% chance of dying and i'm still in that state now. Depression don't go away and as much as people say councellers will help all they do is find the source of your depression. You need to get over on yourself. I have even said I was leaving here twice, speshually when people here turned on me, but couldn't leave my 2 friends here that I had. It is okay to be scared, and it is okay to cry. I will not judge you or put it past you. But I will tell you not to be scared. In the end stay strong and you'll get through it. I will save you the everything will be fine speech, because when people tell me that, I feel like punching them in the face, it's so intimidating. I'm sorry to hear this, I have loved seeing your posts around. I hope you get better soon. Link to post Share on other sites
The Midnight Q Posted April 23, 2011 Share Posted April 23, 2011 Everyone says they know what your going through, but they really don't. As for me. I've been in this situation and worse. Nearly killed myself with 80% chance of dying and i'm still in that state now. Depression don't go away and as much as people say councellers will help all they do is find the source of your depression. You need to get over on yourself. I have even said I was leaving here twice, speshually when people here turned on me, but couldn't leave my 2 friends here that I had. It is okay to be scared, and it is okay to cry. I will not judge you or put it past you. But I will tell you not to be scared. In the end stay strong and you'll get through it. I will save you the everything will be fine speech, because when people tell me that, I feel like punching them in the face, it's so intimidating. I'm sorry to hear this, I have loved seeing your posts around. I hope you get better soon. I was an inpatient at a clinic back in 07-08. If it wasn't for my best friend and the support of my circle, I wouldn't be here today. Did the treatments there, saw a bunch of shrinks, temporarily prescribed uppers It definitely sucked but I got better over the years. I'll be honest saying that I have no idea what is causing all this for you but again please know that things will get better. Link to post Share on other sites
Jade Posted April 23, 2011 Share Posted April 23, 2011 They tried putting me on Uppers 2 years ago. I decided against it as it gives you downers after. (: Link to post Share on other sites
Ashley Posted April 28, 2011 Author Share Posted April 28, 2011 hey guys. i'm back.i'm not sure if this place really helped me much though.i guess we'll see though. i did learn alot though, which is good.i dont know really what else to say but i thank you guys so much for your support <3 Link to post Share on other sites
Jade Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 hey guys. i'm back.i'm not sure if this place really helped me much though.i guess we'll see though. i did learn alot though, which is good.i dont know really what else to say but i thank you guys so much for your support <3We all stick together here on the forum. Our support will always be here for you. <3 Link to post Share on other sites
Bright_Star Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 Wow, I hadn't read this yet, but I feel very sorry for you! Good to hear you learnt a lot, I hope it will make you feel better...stay strong! Link to post Share on other sites
Ashley Posted April 29, 2011 Author Share Posted April 29, 2011 thank you both <3 ill still be continuing intensively therapy but as outpatient. i oddly miss the hospital though, nothing to tempt you to cut. at home i've had ridiculous urges Link to post Share on other sites
Jade Posted April 29, 2011 Share Posted April 29, 2011 Yeah as I suffer with it too, I find myself not at home I sit in parks a lot even when it's pissing down. I can't be at home when i'm unstable. Link to post Share on other sites
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