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Women Supporting their Families Financially


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This might seem like a senseless question to some of you since we're already in the 21st century and society has come a long way, but let's not forget that there are loads of people who are still old fashioned and have opposite ideas.

 

I just found out that one of my old friends from Florida is now a surgeon and she just had her first child. Interesting enough, she's also married and her husband is a stay-at-home father. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with that, but it doesn't happen quite frequently.

 

Anyway, one of my brothers (he's the most conservative) thinks this is a bad idea and although I disagree with him he brought up some interesting points:

 

-If a woman is the sole means of support for the family, the man is looked upon by society as a whole, and the courts in particular, as little more than an afterthought in the relationship. Even if he is a homemaking husband, he is the butt of a joke: ie. Mr. Mom.

 

-When the man is the provider, he supports his family; if the woman is the wage earner, he's viewed as nothing more than competition for resources that should be allocated to the children.

 

-Then comes custody and visitation if the marriage ends. We have rarely heard of women being ordered to pay child support, and never heard of it being enforced. Unlike a woman, if he has no job or financial resources, he loses the children. The wife takes the children, and gets a financial judgment in the form of child support that he cannot pay, often resulting in his having to take two or more entry level jobs just to pay the upkeep of the children and keep a roof over his head. And she can use that to keep her ex from seeing the children, since he's never going to be home to be with the kids anyway.

 

All in all, he believes being a homemaker husband is a bad deal. And it's not just him who believes that.

 

So tell me, EW.net, what are your thoughts? Girls, have you ever considered working full time while your spouse stays at home providing for your children? Guys, would you feel intimidated if your spouse was the main provider of your family?

Edited by Bagel of Death
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I wouldn't mind a house man, haha, but only if he's also busy with other hobbies, like painting or music for example. But if he's just gonna be a house cleaner, cook, and babysitter, that's not good enough. Gotta keep those brain cells busy with something creative at the least.

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I know a lot of families who are in this situation and I see nothing wrong with it. I don't think anyone should have a problem with it! Of all the people I know there has never been anything bad that came of it.

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Guys, would you feel intimidated if your spouse was the main provider of your family?

No.

 

This seems like such a tight-lipped answer, but I really can't think of much more to say. I understand there are people who believe that women belong in the kitchen, men are generally more intelligent and witches must be burnt, but I'm just not one of them. :P

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I think the man should be the main provider for his family. He should not have to stay at home because his wife has a good well paid job. I'm not into this house-husband thing, its a bit of a joke to be honest. I've got nothing against women who want to work and help provide for their family, but men must not be sidelined.

Who's going to look after the children, it must be the mother. She has a natural in-built ability to know how to care for them.

 

When the kids are of school age, Dad works full time , Mum part time :D

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I see nothing wrong with the woman being their famalies finance. I have no children and I still pay for everything my boyfriend has or needs. I wouldn't mind doing it for my own children as well.

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I have no problem with the woman being the main provider in the house, but if that was the case, I would feel...useless. After like...2 or 3 weeks, I would feel like I have to get out and do something about it. I'm one of those men who have to get out and do something. I just can't sit around the house and do nothing all day.

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I love how people think that when you are a stay at home mom or dad there is nothing to do. Do you have any idea how hard it is?? There is cooking and cleaning to do. Paying bills and taking care of things around the house. Not to mention caring for kids. There is so much!! Plus the dads I know who are stay at home actually work from home!

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I see no problem with it.

But I guess that there are few families of today who really have the economy of one parent working.

Most families I know-my own encluded-both of us are working, we both help around the house we split bills etc

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I don't really agree with any of your brothers points :/

 

If the marriage splits up the courts will look at the fact that he has looked after the kids ect. and he would have a case for custody, if he did gain custody of the kids then she would have to pay child support. I've heard of plenty of cases where the man has custody of the kids and its down to whether the man has pursued his ex for child support as to whether he gets it from her or not. The courts aren't going to look at a woman getting lots of money and not looking after her kids and say ''yeah but she's a woman she shouldn't have to pay'' if anything they're going to be tougher on her because its weird for the woman to not be the one with custody.

 

I'm pretty sure women do appreciate the help at home, why would they view the husband as competition for resources anymore then a man with a housewife would view her the same? I don't actually get this point at all :S

 

 

 

 

Now then, the problem I see with having a house husband is more of a practical one. If the woman is either the sole or the main provider for money, when she has children she HAS to take time off work, whether she takes the full maternity leave she is entitled too or the minimum she needs to have and get over the birth of her child. This will effect the family financially as for whatever time she has off, they will be seeing a cut in their earnings. Obviously this also happens if she works but isn't the sole or main provider, however if she isn't earning more then her husband then the difference probably wont effect them as much.

 

 

Although, personally I have no problem with a woman being the sole provider and the man being a stay at home Dad. Personally it wouldn't be for me, I couldn't imagine going to work and leaving my partner to look after the kids. I'd feel very left out, however not all women feel the same as me and that is fine.

 

I also agree that he would need to have hobbies so he isn't just a home maker and I'm not saying that staying at home, looking after kids and a house isn't a hard job, its just you do need more then that whether you are a man or a woman, but that goes the same for someone who works anyway. You can't just have your work, you need other things going on in your life.

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i have been brought up in a way that you both work to be able to provide for your children. It isnt fair that one of them are working while the other is at home. But at the end of the day I understand that not everyone can leave their children with someone while they go to work.

 

I have been brought up by babysitters/nannies my entire life while my parents worked their arses off to be able to make my life and my sibling's life a lot more comfortable. And even though i dont condone how i was brought up, because i hardly saw my parents and when i did see them they werent in the mood to play or take me out etc.

 

When it comes down to how i live my life, I know i couldnt be the only breadwinner in the family. In a perfect world, I would love to be able to work around both of our hours. So that there would be someone to be always with the kids etc. But who knows how my world will work out in the end, either way I would love to be able to be a stay at home mum, but i know i would go mental being not in charge of money if he is the one making it.

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i have been brought up in a way that you both work to be able to provide for your children. It isnt fair that one of them are working while the other is at home. But at the end of the day I understand that not everyone can leave their children with someone while they go to work.

 

I have been brought up by babysitters/nannies my entire life while my parents worked their arses off to be able to make my life and my sibling's life a lot more comfortable. And even though i dont condone how i was brought up, because i hardly saw my parents and when i did see them they werent in the mood to play or take me out etc.

 

When it comes down to how i live my life, I know i couldnt be the only breadwinner in the family. In a perfect world, I would love to be able to work around both of our hours. So that there would be someone to be always with the kids etc. But who knows how my world will work out in the end, either way I would love to be able to be a stay at home mum, but i know i would go mental being not in charge of money if he is the one making it.

 

Family life is such a pain lol, it can be so awkward to get the balance right, if you work around each others hours you get to have one of you with the kids all the time, but you don't get to see much of each other which is not good for your relationship.

 

I think whether your both working or only one of you is working you need to look at it as both of your money rather then whoever earns its money, otherwise you would come across a million problems whichever way you look at it. However I know that's not how everyone does it and it does work out for some couples to keep everything separate (but to me that seems weird)

 

However, everyone works out what they feel is best for their family and every family is different, so no-one can really say what is right and wrong as what works for some may not work for others.

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I have been home with my daughter for almost one and a half year now and I'm going too study some courses in school during winter and spring. My boyfriend has studied and now he work. In the spring I will be working, hopefully full time and my boyfriend hopefully full time. Our daughter will be at kindergarten, as it is for now she will go 2 days in the week, 5 hours a day. We maybe make it 3 days, we haven't really decided.

 

It's great if one parent is home, wether it's the man or the woman. But there's a lot of people who can't make it work financially. And I think it's actually, even with a baby, quite boring not have a work to go to.

But to the question, yes why shouldn't a man stay at home? If you are having kids with a man you probably know he is capable of taking care of them. But mother's who decide to work are always being criticized by other mothers. In fact, mothers are always being criticezed by other mothers. There are always something to complain about. You do everything wrong suddenly, when you be a mum.

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I have been home with my daughter for almost one and a half year now and I'm going too study some courses in school during winter and spring. My boyfriend has studied and now he work. In the spring I will be working, hopefully full time and my boyfriend hopefully full time. Our daughter will be at kindergarten, as it is for now she will go 2 days in the week, 5 hours a day. We maybe make it 3 days, we haven't really decided.

 

It's great if one parent is home, wether it's the man or the woman. But there's a lot of people who can't make it work financially. And I think it's actually, even with a baby, quite boring not have a work to go to.

But to the question, yes why shouldn't a man stay at home? If you are having kids with a man you probably know he is capable of taking care of them. But mother's who decide to work are always being criticized by other mothers. In fact, mothers are always being criticezed by other mothers. There are always something to complain about. You do everything wrong suddenly, when you be a mum.

 

 

Yeah you cant do right, I find the moment you get pregnant people decide they can judge your behaviour.

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