Bipolar.

[I.SetFire2TheRain]

When I was 13 my dad was hospitalized for being bipolar. I remember it as if it was yesterday. The day I came home from school and asked my mom where dad was (he usually works from home, so I was surprised to find he wasn't there.) My mom told me he had been hospitalized.

 

That was the start of a rough journey for me. I remember being afraid of my own dad, because he wasn't himself. I'm getting all teary eyed just writing it down now.

 

I didn't get any professional help and the fact that my dad was ill still affects me to this day (I turn 20 this year). Before he was hospitalized my dad would yell at me and take out his anger on me for the smallest things in the world that most people wouldn't even comment on or barely notice.

Whenever he would get angry he used to say the most hurtful things to me. Calling me ugly, fat, stupid etc. My self esteem and self confidence is still very, very bad. I can't be naked in front of my boyfriend and I've been with him for three years.

 

This still upsets me sometimes and I guess I just needed to get it out of my system. Talk about it. So that I can finally heal. Completely and fully.

 

If you know what I mean..

 

Sorry for blabbering

Edited January 18, 2012 by I.SetFire2TheRain

[trixie]

Maybe this isn't what you wanted to read but I think you should talk to someone about what you've been through and who can help you feel better about yourself.

 

You need all the self esteem and self confidence that you can get. Cause life isn't easy!

[Imagine]

Tried pming you but for some reason it didnt work. So pm me and ill reply to you that way.

[Bagel of Death]

My sister-in-law denies her bipolar disorder, even though she's already seen like 2 psychologists and they both diagnosed her with the same disorder. She can't see the manic side as part of her illness. When she is on the high manic upswing, she thinks things are just great, she only recognizes the depression when she is on the down side of the swinging of the pendulum.

 

Just recently my brother realized it's affecting the way they are raising their son (my nephew): there is no consistency, some days she is strict about bath and bed time, other days she doesn't pay any attention to his schedule, she will suddenly decide to take him shopping at 8 pm for something she doesn't really need, like more make up.

 

She is an impulsive shopper and spender, can't budget money, even though she works full time and doesn't have to pay a penny for the mortgage.

 

It's a real roller coaster ride for my brother.

[Majestic122]

I'm really sorry to hear that. I don't know anyone who suffers from bipolar disorder, but I study psychology in university and naturally, I learned about it there. I understand the need to talk about it. If you have things in the future you want to get off your chest, don't hesitate. We'll listen.

[Revan]

I was born with clinical depression. My family has a long history of mental illness, with a schizophrenic Uncle, a Cousin recently diagnosed as being bipolar, My Dad having depression as well, and my Grandmother and Great-Grandmother both relatively off Their rocker.

 

While I will not divulge My personal life for all to see, I will openly admit that I have deeply considered suicide as well as having experienced some of the blackest moments One can go through. Thus, as far as the depression aspect of being bipolar goes, I can certainly identify.

 

One of my best friends is bipolar. She struggles with it sometimes, and thus, I have experience of what it can be like to deal with a bipolar person. Often, it's not easy being there for Her. I feel helpless much of the time. But I do love Her with all of my heart.

 

If You'd like to talk about it, get some advice, ask questions, or anything really, just send Me a message.

 

~Revan

Edited January 31, 2012 by Revan