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My musical story


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So, I don't really know why, but I felt like I wanted to write down my musical story over here. You guys are always really friendly and listening, so I feel this is the right place :).
I come from a musical family; my father is a professional mucisian, as well is my stepmother, and as well were my grandparents from my mother's side. My mother is an actress with a lot of musical ability as well. My siblings and I were and are brought up with a lot of classical music around us. I feel greatly blessed for this; the music has become a huge part of my life, maybe one of the most important parts even. I really couldn't imagine not having music around me, it has always been there.
I started taking violin lessons when I was five and moved to piano when I was eight. I think I was about twelve when I started singing; I sang a lot, but never really seriously, although I had a role in the school opera (yes, we did an opera at school  :yesyes: ) when I was fourteen. Three years ago I started my voice training with a elderly lady who had a very long working career as a teacher and performing career as a singer. She was and is a great inspiration to me and has taught me a lot. However, last month I moved to a different teacher; switching music teachers now and then can be really helpful to discover new things and learn from different approaches. This is a huge difference; this is a young tenor who I believe is in his final year of conservatory. I'm almost 21 so we're only little apart in age, which is really nice. We get along well and I feel I can learn a lot from him. 
What I didn't mention was that I never pursued actual studies in music, like at the conservatory. However, over the past few months actually, I've started to realise that that may be where I want my path to lead me to. I've been through some things and am extremely happy I finally found something I may actually get really good at one day. I'm currently in my second year of uni, most probably two or three years to go there. Taking up a second studies is becoming more and more difficult here in the Netherlands because of economic crisis and savings and all that stuff. So money is one problem, but that can be overcome; if it is my true dream to sing professionally, I will just find my way to pay for my studies (which are thus extra studies after I've gotten my degree at uni in a couple of years time). Another thing though, is my lack of self-esteem; the phrase "The only person standing in your way is you" really is about me. I feel insecure about my singing many many times. This is part of the process I believe. I am absorbing every piece of music I can find; I go to concerts, I go to masterclasses at the conservatory and sit in the audience, but when I see all those people performing I think: my gosh, I am so extremely far away from this level. What helps is that my new teacher does actually take me serious. The first thing he asked was whether I want to sing professionally, and I said I just want to sing, need to sing, and see where things turn. I really want to work very hard to become better and to feel free to sing at my very best, but sometimes I just don't know if I'm strong enough to survive the huge inner development it needs (not to mention the extremely hard business I might be entering, looking at my dad...)
I see this has become a very long story. I thank you so much for reading it :).

Edited by Sterre**
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Sounds nice, would like to hear you singer after reading this^^

 

I think you should gather some strange and at least try to sing for an audience. Maybe in a small club or something. Then you can get some self confidence from it or know that you have to work hard.

At least you god a feedback, from someone who is not bound to you, if you know what i´m talking about.

 

And the business is of course hard, all business is hard, it seems. You need a strong will, but if it is that what you want, i think you should fight for it and search force in yourself. Critic yourself after you song, but not when your singing.

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^Thanks for your reply :). I might post something at one point, if you'd indeed like that! :)

The fact is I've sung for audiences quite a lot. That's not something I fear really; I sing in a choir as well and we sometimes have these open mic sort of things where anyone can perform anything they like. Also, I like to sing for family and friends. I am lucky to have many friends who are into classical music as well, and they support me on everything. Most people are enthusiastic, so it's also the parameters I'm looking at, you know what I mean? Of course everyone's better than me when I hear students in musical studies sing, because they're doing it full time.. I think it will all be about how hard I work and how much I still love this within a year or two... :)

Edited by Sterre**
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i´m not quite sure i understand the thing with the Parameters.

 

But if you can perform for an audience it is nice. Then you are probably right with your sentence:

 

I think it will all be about how hard I work and how much I still love this within a year or two...  :)

 

Don´t know how many times you can do training, but maybe you can sing while doing something else, cooking for example or painting, don´t know your hobbies^^

Edited by Badab
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^Haha yeah that's what I do all the time...my mother is so happy I moved out I guess, because I was always singing (although she liked it, hearing me constantly became a bit annoying of course) :). I love singing while cooking, doing homework even or biking.

 

Yeah paramters wasn't the right word...what I meant to say is then in my choir I am one of the better singers, frankly, but when I go to a concert at the conservatory I hear students who are trained to be professional singers and I think oh my gosh I'm nearly not as good (those are my own thoughts)...but that's no surprise of course, since they are of course better because they devote everything to their singing. I feel really inspired by these concerts and masterclasses though, I'd never want to miss them :).

Edited by Sterre**
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oh then, i have no advise anymore i fear^^

i´m no singer

 

ok i understand, now but did you ever seen it like this:

They probably think they are not that good to, they think man this girl is better or that guy. They will see the potential who is above them, too. Maybe some think you are better then them.

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