Jump to content
The Emma-Watson.net Forum

I've Been Holding It In


Recommended Posts

I'm getting a divorce. My wife cheated on me. It's difficult. I just can't get the thought of her sleeping with other guys out of my head. Some days are better than others. I'm feeling particularly blue right now.

 

I still love my wife but as cruel as she's been, my fondness for her is fading. It's not just the sleeping with other guys, she's also over time attacked my manhood repeatedly (and no that's not a euphemism for kicking me in the n*ts). When she gets angry or we get in arguments she tries to make me feel like less of a man and says very cruel things.

 

After finding out about her infidelity, I tried to save the marriage. I set up marriage counseling and we went. She saw that I was willing to do anything to save our marriage and used this to further manipulate me. I'm starting to see it for what it is now.

 

So I'm feeling really down in the mouth today. Yeah, happy Thanksgiving, merry Christmas and a happy New Year too. The Holidays are shaping up to be a real punch in the heart.

 

I may put on a strong front to you guys but really I'm a thoughtful, sensitive, sentimental guy. It's difficult for me to deal with things coming to an end. It's hard for me to move on to other or new chapters of life. I tend to dwell on the past. I'm sure you can see that by reading some of my posts.

 

I enjoyed seeing the new HP movie. Even though it's make believe for a movie, it makes my problems seem not so big when you see the trio running for their lives.

 

I don't really want to go into deep detail as I don't like giving out too much detail and info on the Web. I'm not asking for advice or anything, I just wanted to put this out there. I just needed to get this off my chest. I came here to be with like minded people and possibly some kindred spirits. Hope you guys understand.

 

Mods, I didn't really know where to put this so if it's the wrong forum, feel free to move it.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I can`t say I`ve been there, done that...I was never married.

But I think I have a fair idea of the tactics she uses. It doesn`t get any lower than that.

 

I know it`s not that simple, even in the US, but I would say:

Pack what you need, get on your bike, and get out of there.

 

Wishful thinking, I know....

Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh my gosh it sounds terrible, I cant even imagine what she has done to you. Truly cruel.

 

I say ditto to 130671^ just get gone, i know it is going to be a tough road but in the long run you will be happier :)

 

and in the meantime you have us all here for you :)

Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with the others, you need to get as far away as possible from her. I got cheated on too this year (but I'm not married), some people are sickening. But as much as you love/d her you can't hang on, as you know. She'll probably just hurt you more. You don't have to put on a strong front to us, I'm sure everyone here would like you for who you are (:

Link to post
Share on other sites

I can't say I know what you are going through as i've never been married, but I do know what it's like to be cheated on and I feel for you.

 

Big credit for trying to do all the right things and save the marraige despite what she has done, but you are doing the right thing now. It may hurt for a while, but you will be better off without her.

 

Good luck with everything and I hope it all works out well for you.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Let me preface this update with - don't put me on suicide watch. That's not my style. I would never go that direction. I consider that weasling out.

 

I'm feeling pretty melancholy and depressed. What sucks is when I needed someone to talk to, I would always talk to my wife. Now I can't do that. I start to call so I have someone to talk to but realize that I can't.

 

I feel lonely and sad. I'm having trouble concentrating on work etc. I look back and feel like I've wasted my time. If I could go back I would change some things. Make some different decisions. I feel like I am where I am and no matter how much I would like to be somewhere else or with someone else it just ain't gonna happen. I feel that almost everything I've done doesn't much matter and doesn't make a difference.

 

I believe in true love and I definitely see myself getting married again. I just don't want to make another mistake. I don't want to rush into anything. I'm just afraid that I'll end up having to settle instead of finding a true love. I just want to feel loved because I don't know that I ever felt loved and accepted by my estranged wife.

 

I'm at an extremely low place right now. I see some peoples happiness and their amazing good fortune and realize that the choices I've made put me here instead of there. Sometimes it all just hurts and aches so bad. And I'm not just talking about my marriage ending but also not being where I want to be.

 

I sometimes wish I could just pick up and move a thousand miles away and start a completely new life. But obligations keep me from that. So I'll go on here with my small life that doesn't much matter to anyone and continue being insignificant.

Link to post
Share on other sites

So my wife had my pickup truck this weekend and I got it back tonight. As I'm driving home the bed of the truck is squeaking and rattling a lot. I thought "that sounds like my spare tire is missing." So I get out and look up underneath and lo and behold the spare tire is gone. So I text the wife and ask her about it. She claims ignorance. I look closer and the cord that held it up there was cut. I'm guessing someone stole it. I looked at the odometer and she drove a crap load of miles this weekend. So wherever she went, whether it was some dive bar, a honkey tonk or who knows what, someone stole my spare tire. So now, not only do I get to buy a new tire but I also have to buy a rim for it as well.

 

It just keeps getting better and better.

Link to post
Share on other sites

If you need someone to talk to, we're all here :)

 

You're doing whats right. You deserve so much better, and trust me, I've learnt from experience that once you forgive a cheat, they'll just take advantage of your sincerity.

 

I hope you find someone that deserves you. :) Things will work out

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm feeling pretty melancholy and depressed. What sucks is when I needed someone to talk to, I would always talk to my wife. Now I can't do that.

 

I feel like I am where I am and no matter how much I would like to be somewhere else or with someone else it just ain't gonna happen. I feel that almost everything I've done doesn't much matter and doesn't make a difference.

 

I'm at an extremely low place right now....Sometimes it all just hurts and aches so bad. And I'm not just talking about my marriage ending but also not being where I want to be.

 

I sometimes wish I could just pick up and move a thousand miles away and start a completely new life. But obligations keep me from that. So I'll go on here with my small life that doesn't much matter to anyone and continue being insignificant.

 

Sorry for abridging what you said in the quote above. I didn't want to make this post seem too long and I wanted to hit on the key points.

I am in a similar position as you are in (except I am single), with not having anybody to talk to and truly converse with. Have you considered talking out your thoughts to a therapist? It sort of helps. The idea may not sound too appealing, as you would be pretty much talking to someone who you have no relationship with...whose job is to evaluate you, blah blah. But, it could help? I don't want to offend you by suggesting this. Some people don't take it to well. I didn't when it was suggested to me.

"...It ain't gonna happen..." Never say never. It may seem like it right now, but this isn't the End. In many ways, in the future, you're going to be looking back and be realizing in retrospect that this is a new Beginning. Although you can't start physically anew by moving "a thousand miles away", you're being given an opportunity to start anew emotionally, even though it might not feel this way.

I am at a low point as well, this week. I just don't feel where I should be at the moment, but then again maybe my goals are a bit too ambitious for Time to allow me to achieve them and maybe I have to step back a bit.

What you have done has to matter and make a difference, otherwise you would not be at this point now (if you reflect on your positive accomplishments). I don't know if you've ever touched (and when I mean "touch" I am implying the word "influence") anyone in your life besides your wife, but think about this: each person you have interacted with in your life, you have made a difference in. If you weren't alive now (which I seriously hope this is NOT the case...we like you very much present and living :) ), decisions that other people would have made otherwise would have never happened.

Life takes its own course based on our decisions and interdependency on one another.

No one has a "small" life, unless you're talking about longevity and not importance. Insignificant, you are not. Everything plays a significant role.

You mentioned in some other post somewhere in this forum (I think it was regarding the end of the HP franchise) that we will all have each other to "lean" on when it ends. Well, what about now? When someone's down and out, some slack needs to be picked up that enables that person to "lean on" US.

We're here for you...if you need us to be.

I hope better days look up for you and you continue keeping your chin up.

;)

Link to post
Share on other sites

^^Wow. Thank you so much for the very kind post. Yes, I do intend to see a therapist/psychiatrist or whatever when the divorce is final. Right now I've got too much going on with the divorce proceedings to see one but I will eventually. In addition to you guys I also have buddies that I can call. I'm trying to get together for a drink with one of my buddies now but everyone's life is so hectic it's sometimes difficult to make a connection.

 

Again, thank you so much.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Oy I am so sorry!! I can't even imagine what you must be going through! I wish there was something I could do, but I know there isn't. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Life is hard sometimes and we can only try are best to get through its difficulties. Just remember you are an amazing hilarious guy and you deserve better! You crack me up all the time and I can't thank you enough for that. Stay strong and keep cracking those jokes! If you need anything at all, do not hesitate to count on me!

Link to post
Share on other sites

^^Wow. Thank you so much for the very kind post.

 

Again, thank you so much.

 

Don't mention it. I would like someone to say that to me (and I've only had something similar said to me by someone I used to be friends with) if I were down and out or in a similar position.

Things do give after a while.

Though, I am not mitigating any fact that you should not be grieving. You definitely should be, as you're entitled to be. Don't let anyone make you feel that you shouldn't.

You deserve much better and much more.

I hope things do work out for you, and hope you have that drink. That's important too (in moderation...lol).

;)

Edited by K.Lo
Link to post
Share on other sites

Arie thank you so much. Thanks for being there and thank you for the encouragement. I'm glad that I crack you up.

 

 

I hope things do work out for you, and hope you have that drink. That's important too (in moderation...lol).

;)

Yes, it'll only be a beer or two. I have no desire or need to get ripped.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 months later...

Just followed the link from the emma watson "only fell in love once" (which was beyond low btw) topic and I have to say, even though I really do not know you, that I feel for you. Stuff like that hurts and it sucks, but you will find happiness again,man.

Link to post
Share on other sites

...and I just followed the "latest posts" link and saw this.

 

I'm so deeply sorry to here about this. I can't, no, don't want to imagine how that might feel.

 

I know it's over a month now, but I still wanted to show my sympathy toward one of the great members of this forum. I hope that everything is working out for the better now. You deserve it.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...