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I'm Writing A Screenplay


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Poll: How do you like it

How do you like the screenplay?

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Do you have ideas to better the screenplay?

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#1 ckravitz

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Posted 30 December 2010 - 04:31 AM

For anyone who has browsed the www.emmawatson/forum and looked at the Emma Chat section, you would probably know about this topic already. If so, you can skip down to Links. If not, and this is the first time you have ever seen this topic, please read the following information.


Back in mid December I suddenly got this idea for a movie that I just had to write. It's a romance, not a sexual fantasy/lust sort of thing but an actual love story between two somewhat different people. I won't go into much detail, but the point of the story is to show that life is not predictable, and that even intricate plans can go off into an unplanned direction. Either way, the main supporting character (Emma Reid, 31) is based off of Emma Watson.

Every so often I'll post a new thing here and there to show you guys how this is coming along. So far, this is what is complete:


LINKS:
Emma Reid Description (this is what I believe Emma Watson is like in real life)
James Myer Description (the main character)
First 18 pages
When James and Emma meet (about 6 pages)

Q&A:
Is this all you have done?
No, I just think that these are the essentials to post.

Will you be posting more?
Yes, when I complete and revise them I will post information in this topic.

Why would I go and see this in a theater?
Personally, I don't like the beginning that much. What I do love about this is the middle and end. I believe that is what will make this movie stand out from the rest of the herd.

Will you be making a movie out of this, or is it just for fun?
Yes, I will be in the future. Near the end of the screenplay there is a "SUBTITLE FADES IN" sequence that shows the audience that the year is 2015. I am hoping that the next few months work out like I am expecting them too, so I can make this into a real movie. The About Me page on this forum states that I'm an "Aspiring iOS game developer. I am currently learning the Objective-C computer language, Cocos2d, and OpenGL ES to create amazing iPad and iPhone games." My ideas have never been done before, and seem to be very popular in "app forums." So, I'm hoping to be able to make a lot of money with developing and maybe make an independent movie out of this in the future (2015).

For the actors and actresses, who knows. I'm thinking I would be pretty good for the male lead, but the female lead I am a little stuck on.

Is James Myer based off of you?
No, but I do understand you feeling this if you read the beginning. It just worked out to, well, work out perfectly (what he does explains his personality).

Why are you posting this on the forum?
I really like this community, and I have nobody that I can go to and ask for them to be as critical as possible. They will all say, "It's great." I believe this forum will allow me to make this screenplay to become the best it can be.

-----
If you have any more questions, post them here and I will get back to you. Also, please let me know if you have any suggestions. You can either post them directly on the document, or in the forum. Thanks!

Edited by ckravitz, 30 December 2010 - 04:32 AM.

Sisters: Jade, Kimberley, Ellen, Stef, Sarah Brothers: Ardi


#2 ckravitz

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Posted 31 December 2010 - 02:39 AM

NOTICE:

Please let me know what you do not like about the screenplay. I really want to make it the best it can be, and I never wrote something to this magnitude before so it is new to me. Like I said before, the reason why I am posting this here to get criticism from you guys. I want you to let me know what you don't like about it so I can think of ways to improve it.

Thanks!

Sisters: Jade, Kimberley, Ellen, Stef, Sarah Brothers: Ardi


#3 KS987

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Posted 31 December 2010 - 03:34 AM

I think it would help if you explained the plot a bit more. If we knew more about what kind of story this was and where the plot was going then we might have a better idea of how to help out. Because I might have ideas that may not be what you want and I just want to know beforehand so I can give you ideas that might be more helpful.
Emma Watson: The Britsh Beauty.
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#4 ckravitz

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Posted 31 December 2010 - 03:49 AM

I think it would help if you explained the plot a bit more. If we knew more about what kind of story this was and where the plot was going then we might have a better idea of how to help out. Because I might have ideas that may not be what you want and I just want to know beforehand so I can give you ideas that might be more helpful.



Got it, give me a few minutes

Sisters: Jade, Kimberley, Ellen, Stef, Sarah Brothers: Ardi


#5 ckravitz

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Posted 31 December 2010 - 04:39 AM

I think it would help if you explained the plot a bit more. If we knew more about what kind of story this was and where the plot was going then we might have a better idea of how to help out. Because I might have ideas that may not be what you want and I just want to know beforehand so I can give you ideas that might be more helpful.


The main portion of the movie (specifically the middle) is about the interactions between Emma and James. I compiled a scene list a few days ago:

Beginning after The Meeting:


  • James calls Emma to arrage for dinner. Emma accepts invitation.
  • Dinner at restaurant (most likely Bella Notte's). They have a great time together.
  • Jump ahead to late Spring to early Summer. The two people have a picnic/walk in a park (to be determined). They fall asleep under a tree together. James wakes up a couple hours laterwith the weather changing to rain, and wakes Emma up. They then proceed to run to the Aston Martin. Note: James gives Emma his jacket and he carries supplies
  • The scene starts with Emma in James' house (audience sees that Emma now lives with James). She is finishing a phone call. When done, she walks to James who is in his office and tells him that her parents want to meet him. James accepts invitation.
  • They go to the parent's house to have dinner. Emma's parents ask James many questions about social life, school life, etc. In the end, they like James and gives Emma their approval. Emma's brother is skeptical, however. He gets James alone and warns him not to hurt Emma "or else." James respectfully understands and says a few things to him [that I will not tell you yet].
  • Skip to Late November/December/Early January. They go ice skating together. Note: this, in my opinion, is the most beautiful scene in the entire movie. I won't explain why, but when you read it I think you will understand.
  • Skip ahead a couple months. James asks Emma to marry him. She accepts.
  • Marriage scene. Show a little of the ceremony. Skip to after party. Show a few highlights. Skip to dancing. During the dancing, camera focuses on the couple's interlocked hands.


I have the end of the movie finished in my head. I will not be posting it yet, however. If my word means anything, then I ask you to believe me when I say that it wraps everything up and explains everything perfectly.

Also, the antagonist is not Emma's brother.

If you need anything else please let me know.

Sisters: Jade, Kimberley, Ellen, Stef, Sarah Brothers: Ardi


#6 Emmy Wemmy

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Posted 31 December 2010 - 11:17 AM

Your idea is great! (do you attend a cinema class at school or anything like that?) But... Although I know it's a love story, I'm scared that there is not much action in "the future film" if you are able to realize it.

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Sister : Kim. E-son : Lil Chris. E-dad : Andrew.


#7 ckravitz

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Posted 31 December 2010 - 11:25 AM

Your idea is great! (do you attend a cinema class at school or anything like that?) But... Although I know it's a love story, I'm scared that there is not much action in "the future film" if you are able to realize it.


Nah, my high school doesn't have anything like that. The closest thing to it is TV production, but it has no leadership and is "looked down upon" if you know what I mean.

That is something I have worried about, too (the action). In the middle, there really is no "build up" from what I am imagining. Just a lot of different scenes showing the life of two people. The way I am imagining the movie, though, is there to be a big twist at the end which has never been done before (at least successfully) in another movie. The last scenes will sum up the entire point of the movie, plot, characterization, etc. Again, my lips are sealed about the end.

Sisters: Jade, Kimberley, Ellen, Stef, Sarah Brothers: Ardi


#8 Emmy Wemmy

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Posted 31 December 2010 - 11:33 AM

Well, ok :) Hope it'll work ;) We'll see anyway. Too bad you don't attend any cinema class, I'm sure you would have loved it. Do you want to become a cinema director when you're older?

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Sister : Kim. E-son : Lil Chris. E-dad : Andrew.


#9 ckravitz

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Posted 31 December 2010 - 11:40 AM

Well, ok :) Hope it'll work ;) We'll see anyway. Too bad you don't attend any cinema class, I'm sure you would have loved it. Do you want to become a cinema director when you're older?


Yeah, it would probably be fun. Definitely better than Foundations of Art <_<

Not really, probably a hobby. What I am currently doing (in addition to this) is teaching myself how to make applications for the iPad and iPhone. It's with the money I get from that that will be used toward this film. That's why the screenplay subtitles is dated 2015; by then I'll be 19 and in college, hopefully with the money I earned from making apps in the bank accumulating interest.

Sisters: Jade, Kimberley, Ellen, Stef, Sarah Brothers: Ardi


#10 Emmy Wemmy

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Posted 31 December 2010 - 11:45 AM

How about applications for iPod Touch? :P You have a lot of time to earn money for it anyway ;)

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Sister : Kim. E-son : Lil Chris. E-dad : Andrew.


#11 ckravitz

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Posted 31 December 2010 - 11:50 AM

How about applications for iPod Touch? :P You have a lot of time to earn money for it anyway ;)


Of course, my mistake :blush: .

I'm hoping to be done with, at least, learning how to make applications by February. However, I really want to do this screenplay and I don't want to lose my interest in it. So, I'll probably finish up the screenplay and then I will continue learning it. It's a hard decision, since in my opinion they are both important :lol:

Sisters: Jade, Kimberley, Ellen, Stef, Sarah Brothers: Ardi


#12 Emmy Wemmy

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Posted 31 December 2010 - 11:54 AM

Yeah you're right ;) I want you to know that i support you in this project ;)

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Sister : Kim. E-son : Lil Chris. E-dad : Andrew.


#13 ckravitz

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Posted 31 December 2010 - 11:57 AM

Thank you ^_^ . I hope to here more from you when I finish up the next part of the screenplay (tonight or tomorrow) Happy New Year!

Sisters: Jade, Kimberley, Ellen, Stef, Sarah Brothers: Ardi


#14 Emmy Wemmy

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Posted 31 December 2010 - 11:58 AM

Happy New Year to you too ;) Oh yeah I'll give you my opinion about it ;)

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Sister : Kim. E-son : Lil Chris. E-dad : Andrew.


#15 trixie

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Posted 31 December 2010 - 04:07 PM

Sounds quite intresting.

Edited by trixie, 31 December 2010 - 04:07 PM.

there's nothing I N T E R E S T I N G about being P-E-R-F-E-C-T.

#16 ckravitz

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Posted 01 January 2011 - 07:10 AM

Here's a one-liner for you guys that pretty much sums up the story:

A story about how life has a way of balancing itself out for every person.

Sisters: Jade, Kimberley, Ellen, Stef, Sarah Brothers: Ardi


#17 ckravitz

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Posted 01 January 2011 - 07:22 AM

I was about to edit the last post but I ran out of time. This is what I was going to put:

Also, I was thinking: there's no point at the beginning of the story where the audience will "love" the characters. For Emma Reid, I think the audience will grow to like her through her actions at the beginning and early middle. But, with James Myer it seems that the audience will progressively grow to like him until the end, and at the end/climax the mood the audience feels toward him will "lock."


Sisters: Jade, Kimberley, Ellen, Stef, Sarah Brothers: Ardi


#18 Luna Ann Potter

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Posted 01 January 2011 - 07:25 AM

I'm no expert on screenwriting but I do love movies so I have a few tips.

- I'd sugest you work on your plot, you need to establish a strong suspense plot (crisis or turning-point)Even in a romantic comedy. Film doesn't cope well with the mild suspense plots that work well in plays.

- I'd also sugest you make an outline of the story before actually write the screenplay. Focus on where you want to go instead of how and let the characters do that ;)

- Also, keep the characters descriptions to you, I mean if you plan to do it and show it don't include them on the final script but rather a brief description like name, age, etc. don't put the whole backstory and all of that because if you don't really need it in the story then we don't need to know it, if it's part of the story you should show it not write about it :P

#19 ckravitz

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Posted 01 January 2011 - 07:39 AM

- I'd sugest you work on your plot, you need to establish a strong suspense plot (crisis or turning-point)Even in a romantic comedy. Film doesn't cope well with the mild suspense plots that work well in plays.


Yeah, that's what I have been thinking about for awhile now. There's no "build up" from what I can see. However, the turning point in the film is at the end. That is where the "one-liner" above comes into play.


- I'd also sugest you make an outline of the story before actually write the screenplay. Focus on where you want to go instead of how and let the characters do that ;)


I made an outline, and I pretty much have everything I want to include down on it. Throughout the story I have to ask myself "What would [enter name here] do?"


- Also, keep the characters descriptions to you, I mean if you plan to do it and show it don't include them on the final script but rather a brief description like name, age, etc. don't put the whole backstory and all of that because if you don't really need it in the story then we don't need to know it, if it's part of the story you should show it not write about it :P


Some aspects will be hinted on throughout the screenplay (i.e. college, family, traveling, etc). However, they are all necessary to understand the end of the film.



Thank you for your post, and I hope to hear from you again soon!

Sisters: Jade, Kimberley, Ellen, Stef, Sarah Brothers: Ardi


#20 ckravitz

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Posted 01 January 2011 - 08:16 PM

After doing some long, hard thinking I believe I came up with some ideas to "liven" the screenplay by adding some "action sequences." I thought of a few, and I think it will bridge the gaps between each group of scenes. It will also allow the viewer to make predictions about the end of the film.

The first part will happen the next time they meet. I'm hoping to get it done by tonight, but do not count on it. I have a lot of things I need to do <_<

Sisters: Jade, Kimberley, Ellen, Stef, Sarah Brothers: Ardi





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