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Status Updates posted by Tomâ„¢
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It’s embarrassing that 90% of my Google history is just words I wasn’t sure how to spell, and yes I googled embarrassing.
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One thing life has taught me is that trying to please everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.
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Whoever said nothing was impossible has obviously never tried to staple water to a tree.
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"According to an interview with Rowling, "Voldemort" is pronounced with a silent 't' at the end"
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Under the Wildlife and Countryside Act of 1981, it is explicitly illegal in Britain to use a machine gun to kill a hedgehog
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Now you put water in a cup, it becomes the cup; You put water into a bottle it becomes the bottle; You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.